The witches are coming

Introduction: they let you do it

Choosing the lie

Is Adam Sandler funny?

Ted Bundy was not charming: are you high?

How to be a girl

Always meet your heroes

Do, make, be, barf

A giant douche is a good thing if you're a giant

Gear strap

Joan

Obsolescence is a preventable disease

What is an abortion, anyway?

Leave hell to the devils

Anger is a weapon

Magic isn't magic

The world is good and worth fighting for

Long live the Port Chester whooping cranes

Tomorrow is the first day

Acknowledgments.