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For young David Valdes Greenwood, the indomitable “little fruitcake” at the center of these tales, nothing is sweeter than the promise of the holidays. A modern-day Tiny Tim, he holds fast to his ideal of what Christmas should be, despite the huge odds against him: Sub-zero Maine winters. A host of eccentric
...Dear Billy,
I know you honestly believe that the good deeds you rattled off represent your behavior for the entire past year rather than the activities...
Ever stop and think, Everyone is just so awesome?
Didn't think so.
It's just a fact—most people aren't. But that doesn't stop them from thinking that they are. And that shouldn't stop you from mocking them. In fact, it should just encourage you.
Here's your thumbs up to giving the thumbs down to everyone and everything that's far from awesome and, really, just plain awful.
6) Dad Is Fat
Though he grew up in a large Irish-Catholic family, Jim was satisfied with the nomadic, nocturnal life of a standup comedian, and was content to be "that weird uncle who lives in an apartment by himself in New York that everyone in the family speculates about." But all that changed when he married and found out his wife, Jeannie "is someone who gets pregnant looking at babies."
Five...
A couple years back, I was at the Phoenix airport bar. It was empty except for one heavy-set, gray bearded, grizzled guy who looked like he just rode his donkey into town after a long day of panning for silver in them thar hills. He ordered a Jack Daniels straight up, and that's when I overheard the young guy with the earring behind the bar asking him if he had ID. At first the old sea captain just laughed. But the guy
..."This book is ridiculously hilarious, and makes my father look like a normal member of society."
—Chelsea Handler
"Read this unless you're allergic to laughing."
—Kristen Bell
"If you're wondering if there is a real man behind the quotes on Twitter, the answer is a definite and laugh-out-loud yes."
—Christian Lander, New York Times bestselling author of Stuff White People Like
Tuesdays with
...“[Kaling is] like Tina Fey’s cool little sister. Or perhaps . . . the next Nora Ephron.”—The...
A shockingly candid and raw autobiography from legendary anchorman, jazz flutist, and host of The Ron Burgundy Podcast, Ron Burgundy.
From his humble beginnings in a desolate Iowa coal mining town, his years at Our Lady Queen of Chewbacca High School to his odds-defying climb to the dizzying heights of becoming America’s most trusted and beloved television News Anchor, Ron Burgundy pulls no punches in Let Me
97 Ways to Make a Cat Like You is the perfect interactive guide to these mysterious, fickle, seemingly aloof—yet really, just particular—pets. Paired with a full-color photograph of friendly, extroverted, happy cats...
Jeff reveals the 16 key attitudes about money – and life –...
She had the perfect man, the perfect job—hell, she had the perfect life—and there was no reason to think it wouldn't last. Or maybe there was, but Jen Lancaster was too busy being manicured, pedicured, highlighted, and generally...
From the writer and director of Knocked Up and the producer of Freaks and Geeks comes a collection of intimate, hilarious conversations with the biggest names in comedy from the past thirty years—including Mel Brooks, Jerry Seinfeld, Jon Stewart, Sarah Silverman,...
17) Holidays
Have you ever finished a meal that tasted horrible but not noticed until the last bite? Eaten in your car so you wouldn’t have to share with your children? Gotten hungry while watching a dog food commercial? Does the presence of green vegetables make you angry?
...
"A sidesplitting polemicist for the most awful situations.”—The...
#1 NATIONAL BESTSELLER • A candid, hilarious look at women of a certain age and dealing with the tribulations of maintenance, menopause, empty nests, and life itself.
“Wickedly witty ... Crackling sharp ... Fireworks shoot out [of this collection].” —The Boston Globe
With her disarming, intimate, completely accessible voice, and dry sense of humor, Nora Ephron chronicles her
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